12.04.2002
COMPULSION
Nobody likes to admidt that they are not in total control of their actions. On some level it is an admission of a lack of mental strength. At worst it is an implication that the CIA's mind control beam is way ahead of schedule. I usually don't have what I would call terrible lapses of self control, but last night was something special. Ann had headed off to do her circuit training, leaving me pretty much unattended in front of the PC. Normally this would be an invitation surf the web, and play a little Unreal Tournament, listen to some tunes. With my DSL connection still very much down (Thank you MSN), I found myself firing up an old favorite - Serious Sam - a first person shooter that is the textbook definition of a "Twitch" game. Don't blink or you will surely be toast.
Here is where the compulsion comes in. See, I've played this game countless times, and actually played through it completely 2 or 3 times in the last year or so that I've had it. no biggie. You save you progress, and pick up where you left off in a day or so. Last night though I seemed to need to not save my progress and come back later. My total game time was just a hair over 6 hours. ^ hours doing absolutely nothing other than sitting in front of the monitor, my hands telling me that Repetitive Stress Injury is not a figment of some secretary's imagination, and my awareness of the outside world dimming ever so slowly. When I finally hit the end credits, there was no feeling of success at beating the game, but rather an odd sort of release, perhaps similar to that of a student being released from an all day detention. It was strange, as even midway through the game, there was a sort of subconciouss realization that I didn't care about winning the game, rather I simply had to accomplish that goal for reasons not at all clear to me.
I think I'm going to uninstall it when i get home tonight.
go and tell me all about it
Nobody likes to admidt that they are not in total control of their actions. On some level it is an admission of a lack of mental strength. At worst it is an implication that the CIA's mind control beam is way ahead of schedule. I usually don't have what I would call terrible lapses of self control, but last night was something special. Ann had headed off to do her circuit training, leaving me pretty much unattended in front of the PC. Normally this would be an invitation surf the web, and play a little Unreal Tournament, listen to some tunes. With my DSL connection still very much down (Thank you MSN), I found myself firing up an old favorite - Serious Sam - a first person shooter that is the textbook definition of a "Twitch" game. Don't blink or you will surely be toast.
Here is where the compulsion comes in. See, I've played this game countless times, and actually played through it completely 2 or 3 times in the last year or so that I've had it. no biggie. You save you progress, and pick up where you left off in a day or so. Last night though I seemed to need to not save my progress and come back later. My total game time was just a hair over 6 hours. ^ hours doing absolutely nothing other than sitting in front of the monitor, my hands telling me that Repetitive Stress Injury is not a figment of some secretary's imagination, and my awareness of the outside world dimming ever so slowly. When I finally hit the end credits, there was no feeling of success at beating the game, but rather an odd sort of release, perhaps similar to that of a student being released from an all day detention. It was strange, as even midway through the game, there was a sort of subconciouss realization that I didn't care about winning the game, rather I simply had to accomplish that goal for reasons not at all clear to me.
I think I'm going to uninstall it when i get home tonight.
go and tell me all about it
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