9.24.2003
IT'S REVIVAL TIME
Ever get the feeling that the Prez really missed his true calling by heading of to the Ivy Leauge, Mucking about with numerous failed buisinesses (not to mention the Texas Rangers Professional Baseball Team), and the whole political career thing? The more I think about it, the more I realize what George was best cut out for.
He would make a real folksy Evangelist.
I'm serious here. For those of you who may not be familiar with the Revival Tent Brand of preaching, let me give you a Cliff's Notes version of the methodology.
a. Keep the topics simple. Don't worry that real problems in our lives and the world around us are often complex, and at time quite difficult to fully understand. The trick here is to boil a problem down into an almost trivial sounding issue - so that the proposed remedy that the Preacher is going to present to us seems like a no brainer. (ex. Al Queda and Saddam were in Leauge with one another. Now there is no proof that they were, but it sounds good and makes blowing the shit out of Iraq almost seem justified)
b. Keep Detractors on the defensive. This is an easy one. With enough passion (or venom), a good Preacher can make your mom seem like a painted whore. Anyone who questions the divinity of the Preacher's message is an emmisarry of evil. (ex. Bush used the cliche'd but never out of style "With us or against us" line of crap)
c. Make sure that everything is set up in a simple good/bad black/white kind of mentality. Make sure that you use only the darkest darks and whitest whites, so as to leave even the most addle-minded clear on the agenda. (ex. Remember the Axis of Evil bit Georgie gave us? - if that isn't classic foreshadowing I don't know what is)
d. Take the podunk town for all it's got. Move on to the next revival. Rinse. Repeat. (Patriot act, Massive Deficit Spending, Preferential treatment for certain government contractors [Halliburton], Over 2 million jobs lost in the U.S. in less than 3 years, a complete lack of honor)
Let me put it this way - Supporting the current administration and it's policies simply because you share the same political or religious affiliation of it's figurehead, would be like me helping a guy commit murder because we are both Steeler fans. It's assinine.
This Revival is scheduled to be in town for about another year or so - with designs on an extended engagement, but I'm hoping that a lot of you will go to the polls with me next november and revoke the permit.
go and tell me all about it
Ever get the feeling that the Prez really missed his true calling by heading of to the Ivy Leauge, Mucking about with numerous failed buisinesses (not to mention the Texas Rangers Professional Baseball Team), and the whole political career thing? The more I think about it, the more I realize what George was best cut out for.
He would make a real folksy Evangelist.
I'm serious here. For those of you who may not be familiar with the Revival Tent Brand of preaching, let me give you a Cliff's Notes version of the methodology.
a. Keep the topics simple. Don't worry that real problems in our lives and the world around us are often complex, and at time quite difficult to fully understand. The trick here is to boil a problem down into an almost trivial sounding issue - so that the proposed remedy that the Preacher is going to present to us seems like a no brainer. (ex. Al Queda and Saddam were in Leauge with one another. Now there is no proof that they were, but it sounds good and makes blowing the shit out of Iraq almost seem justified)
b. Keep Detractors on the defensive. This is an easy one. With enough passion (or venom), a good Preacher can make your mom seem like a painted whore. Anyone who questions the divinity of the Preacher's message is an emmisarry of evil. (ex. Bush used the cliche'd but never out of style "With us or against us" line of crap)
c. Make sure that everything is set up in a simple good/bad black/white kind of mentality. Make sure that you use only the darkest darks and whitest whites, so as to leave even the most addle-minded clear on the agenda. (ex. Remember the Axis of Evil bit Georgie gave us? - if that isn't classic foreshadowing I don't know what is)
d. Take the podunk town for all it's got. Move on to the next revival. Rinse. Repeat. (Patriot act, Massive Deficit Spending, Preferential treatment for certain government contractors [Halliburton], Over 2 million jobs lost in the U.S. in less than 3 years, a complete lack of honor)
Let me put it this way - Supporting the current administration and it's policies simply because you share the same political or religious affiliation of it's figurehead, would be like me helping a guy commit murder because we are both Steeler fans. It's assinine.
This Revival is scheduled to be in town for about another year or so - with designs on an extended engagement, but I'm hoping that a lot of you will go to the polls with me next november and revoke the permit.
go and tell me all about it
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